literature

Teisha..

Deviation Actions

Published: Sep 8, 2008

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Literature Text

_{Engulfed, consumed, in flame.  Why knock on heaven’s door, when I could visit hell?  Doesn’t it get colder as you go up, or were all the teachers throughout my whole forsaken life lying to me?  I would rather bask in the warmth of flames, I had never understood the dangers of fire.  Its flickering tendrils of flame, gently caressing my face and skin, tickling over my arms and legs… my only true lover.  It would only ever leave the faintest trace of it’s existence, soot and the sweet smell of the fumes.  Yet they said, dangerous, not to be played with as I did.  My blond hair short, cut because of the damage the flames had done.  My face an unclean able ashy grey, dyed so from the smoke.  Mother tried to stop me, father provided me with the lighters and fluid and matches, and anything else I asked for really.  I was his girl, for sure.

My friends, stared at me in shock.  My expression intense, nervous… whenever I was around them.  I was sick and tired of being asked to read the angst-y teen poetry, so I sat with them… toying with a can of hairspray and a lighter.  They were frightened of me, perhaps that was the only reason they stayed with me.  Not that I wanted them, their problems were not mine, and I did not wish to bear them.  Didn’t they understand?  So when we got together, I rarely spoke.  I’d shrug, with my alabaster shoulders, or grimace when appropriate, contorting my ashen face into a form that would please them.  Relieved when they would excuse me, or when my curfew came into effect.  Curfew, I didn’t have one, it was just a good excuse to leave at ten.

I went home every night, the same time and ambled into my darkened room, the curtains drawn over the big picture window.  I loved to watch the sparks fly, darkness was needed.  That night, though, fire didn’t amuse me… and father came in to see me.  He passed me a new lighter, and it sure was pretty… I won’t go into detail about what it looked like, or we may sit here for hours.  He sat beside me, gave me a hug and left… without a word.  As was our exchange most nights.  I dropped it on my nightstand before collapsing into a void of peaceful darkness.  No noise would penetrate my slumber this night.  Not even the gunshots that echoed through my open window every night.  What a shame, the noise relaxed me, despite where it originated from.  Icould imagine the weapon now, barrel hot in my hands.  Each bullet a release of frustration, and pent up anger.

I woke up to my brother blaring Underoath in his bedroom next door.  Such as I did most mornings.  I rolled over, pushing the pillows against my ears, groaning quietly as to not alert my parents to the fact I was awake.  The blankets in a contorted mess at the end of my bed.  Damn, did I ever need some coffee.  I pushed myself away from the comfort of my bed and walked groggily down the dreary white hallway towards the kitchen.  The smell of expresso flowing in sweet streams to my nose.  The warmth of the kitchen enveloping me in it’s humid embrace.  I grabbed my father’s coffee with a smile, chugging the burning liquid too fast and burning my throat.  I looked to my father with a smile, he wouldn’t mind I was sure.  He laughed as I looked over with wide eyes at him, I did this most mornings.  His coffee was now basically mine anyways.  I felt like he was the only one to really understand.  I went over, leaning my head on his broad shoulders for a minute, before mom strode in with her usual demands.

“Eat something good for you,“ she paused, grabbing her own drink before continuing her sentence.  “You know coffee will stunt your growth right?.“  I giggled, the oh so familiar sentence reaching my ears.  I nodded at her and stood up, grabbing her toast out of the toaster as it popped, buttering it and swallowing it almost whole.  She grimaced at me playfully before putting in another piece… again, this was routine.  This is how family life worked around here.  Then, as if on cue, Ty stumbled clumsily out of his room, grumbling at me.

“Manda, you are very loud in the morning.“ he shook auburn hair out over the smooth surface of his face, hitching up slightly too large jeans.
I retorted kindly, reminding him that his music wakes me up ever morning.
“Love, have you ever wondered if I like Underoath this early in the morning?“  I walked over, mussing his hair with my free hand.

After an hour or so, I escaped the confines of the small townhouse, walking out onto a immaculately paved sidewalk, letting my side bangs fall into my eyes as I passed my “friends.” As if they would obscure the fact, that I was me… Teisha Amanda Reynolds  Teisha, who named a child that? Curse my mother for this.

My shoes were clicking much too loudly against the ground.  It would draw attention to me, leaning down I pulled them off violently, letting my feet relax against the sun-baked sidewalk.  Holding the shoes in my head I headed forward, not exactly sure of where I was going.

Though really, to find the most interesting places, you need to get lost first.</I>}